Surrendering and offering it all on the altar, or letting go in worship of Jesus, sounds nice.

Over the course of time, bit by bit, Jesus has become an undeniable anchor who began changing me from the inside out.

I have found over the last few years that it has been having a time with journaling, Scripture, meditation, prayer, and worship that have been the most transformative part of this journey, and honest conversations with others. It’s during these times that something can change, be healed, confessed, or surrendered. Things from life come up in God’s unconditional light. Mornings have become a time to die to self to be reborn again, just a little more.

AA emphasizes the necessity of “spiritual experiences” and “having a spiritual awakening.” Like with all things, these can be faked and performed — a form of “spiritual materialism.” So the magic lies in not faking or assuming, but going through it honestly, willingly, and openly. Any person who has walked the Steps more than once understands that it’s not a one-and-done thing, but an all-in-or-nothing thing.

Carl Jung was a massive influence behind AA as a whole, and “spiritual experience” was lifted directly off his lips. After about a year and a half sober, my first spiritual experience happened, and it was simply an epiphany that for a moment brought such peace and calm that I felt free for the first time. It lasted but a moment, and it became sort of a “standing stone,” a memory I could never forget. I wanted more peace, wholeness, and love.

Over time, through things like meditation and study, other spiritual experiences brought self-realizations, epiphanies, and sometimes visions. Without my permission, Charismatic and Pentecostal things started happening. Eventually, in the course of studying, I realized “spiritual experiences” was not a fuzzy word, but a definable human one.

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

— Romans 12:1-2

Spiritual Experiences & Pivotal Mental States

One of my new favorite topics is Pivotal Mental States (PiMS). It’s basically what AA refers to as “spiritual experiences.” PiMS are states when our brain has increased psychological flexibility and rapid belief updating. During such states, our brains enter a more neuroplastic state. A common trait of PiMS is collapsing assumptions and holding paradoxical truths at once. These are moments like when we realize something about ourselves we can’t unsee or maybe a hard lesson we grew from. You’ve had them in moving worship moments, the birth of a child, or a well-timed, perfect word from someone when you needed it the most.

Deep spiritual experiences, prolonged focused prayer, or bodily worship can act as non-pharmacological paths for spiritual transformation. Momentary disorientation, like emotional crisis, deep grief, or total ego exhaustion, can open a window of neural plasticity where ingrained patterns, like those in the default mode network (DMN), which is called a “seat” of the ego and self-referential narrative, temporarily disengage. These states challenge what our brains are used to.

On the ground level, the fingerprints are left not just in the fruit the person can bear now, but in the neurological blueprint. The mind must change, and Pivotal Mental States describe such moments. They can be useful in understanding both healthy and true experiences as well as destructive and fabricated ones.

During a PiMS, the brain is uniquely capable of rapid cognitive restructuring. What theology calls metanoia (“repentance”, lit. a radical change of mind and life) appears as the neurobiological rewriting of core belief architectures during such a window. PiMS is something that happens, not the things that go into making it happen. The human being at the center of it is “where” a Pivotal Mental State occurs.

“If an angel appears in the middle of nowhere, with no humans are around, did it appear?”

The Set Up

One of the simplest entry points into a pivotal mental state is good old worship. True worship forces the ego to stop rating, judging, or dissecting the moment—moving the soul out of its head and into pure presence, simply being seen by the One who sees you.

Worship creates a context in which I can stop defending myself against what is already there and surrender it to Christ. Like Job’s Whirlwind, authentic worship strips our excuses and assumptions, leaving us to only wonder at the mystery of the Divine and Creation rather than being self-appointed judges and rulers of either. I’m continually reminded that I am a part of Creation as God is a part of me.

A few things you’ll need if you want to try an experimentally worship-induced PiMS:

• Willingness to surrender the ego before Jesus.
• Space, time, and something to worship along to: The specific choice matters, but options are endless. What actually counts is that it redirects praise back to Jesus and recenters the ego so the experience can do its work. Stay open to new sounds—they’re often the freshest tools.
• Solitude: Doing this alone* helps you catch yourself when you start seeking validation, looking for distractions, or worrying if you’re “doing it right.” When those parts of you surface, just notice them and hand them straight to Christ. Watch what happens when you do—He doesn’t turn away from your noise; He keeps His gaze fixed right on you. Comparison is a thief of joy.

*On doing it corporately: The same principles apply, so when you find yourself faux-worshipping, holding back, performing, avoiding, etc, notice and stop. Meet God as you are, where you are at: naked. In time, shame, resentment, fear, and more are exposed until His light can transform them. Ultimately, we can all not just stand in the presence of God, but dance together in it.

A few of my personal go-to artists right now:

• David Crowder
• Josiah Queen
• I Needed This Dave (uses AI)
• JoshM

And then praise and worship of Jesus as Lord & Savior, offering everything to Him, like no one is watching. Let go of all conclusions, assumptions, and expectations. A worship experiment sharing about one way to get yourself into a posture where the ego can be laid down.

Now, not in a forced cliché or performative fashion; in fact, the opposite: if and when there is any moment of performance, you acknowledge and give it to Him: change an action or stance maybe.

The objective is to be completely naked before God’s light and love, and it’s no trivial thing. To behold God’s glory with an “unveiled face” (2 Corinthians 3:17–18) requires no masks, armor, or assumptions. The ego/False Self is at best our vehicle for surviving the first half of life. Worship is a daily practice of stepping out of the dualistic calculating mind into the naked now (cf. Colossians 3:1–3). Carl Jung noted that we’d do almost anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid our own souls, and that’s exactly what God has His eyes on.

This is descriptive, not prescriptive. It is a recognizable human experience, one that ancient spiritual traditions, including Christians, intentionally cultivated in their practices and rituals. To enter the presence of God is to invite complete exposure. God’s presence is never distant; it’s always right there. We can build up layers and conditions between us and His supremacy.

To approach the throne is less about inviting His eyes on our lives than about finally being willing to see with Him, rather than dictating to Him. Scripture teaches that this is possible with confidence, though probably only after heavy sinners have been somewhat unburdened. There are no excuses, games, or bloated expectations within the Divine. To be one with Him is to allow Him to be one with all of your life.

Sin struggles to be in the light of God, as Jesus reminded us in John 3. The prophet Isaiah had a visceral, first-hand experience with this fundamental truth. He realized that even his own speech was tainted by the people he lived with, until God and his messengers cleansed it away so Isaiah could be present for what God was really interested in. I often wonder about what Ezekiel’s experience with the Divine must have been like. Whenever God meets a person, something changes, and they can’t see the world the same again.

So, when in doubt, be willing to look absurd and move closer to God by doing something with your body until worship starts working and ego breaks. The soul is soil that must be tilled if the Word of God is going to take root deeply. That’s a polite way of saying it is not God who is getting in the way of healing and peace in our lives.

“At all events, religious teaching as well as the consensus gentium [“agreement of the people“] always and everywhere explain this experience as being due to a cause external to the individual. The numinosum is either a quality belonging to a visible object or the influence of an invisible presence that causes a peculiar alteration of consciousness. This is, at any rate, the general rule.”

— C. G. Jung, Psychology and Religion

The Body

Use your whole body, mind, heart, and soul to worship. I’ve found both the mind and body to be physical manifestations of heart and soul. If I worship with my soul and heart, I will worship also through my body and mind. If I can get my mind and body aligned in worship, my heart and soul become alive.

The body can hold unconscious defenses, and even memories, as physical tension. I once shrugged at such a concept until I tested it. Now, I’m a believer. Posture is not an expression of a state already felt; posture is an agent that can shift the nervous system into a different state. A common phrase I hear in AA is, “Change a thought by changing an action.” 

Bodily shifts, like raising hands, kneeling, and lying prostrate, or deliberate stillness and singing, can send signals up the vagus nerve to the brainstem, bypassing the verbal cerebral cortex, and giving our brain input we may often neglect. By taking the posture, our minds can be more open to what it expresses. 

Do the thing you don’t want to do: like raise your hands, or if you’re on the other side of the spectrum, stay silent and still. Sing if you’re afraid to—be silent if you love the sound of your own voice. It’s what is appropriate and good medicine in the moment. Worshipping in silence forces the nervous system to process suppressed bodily sensations without resorting to cognitive and physical distraction.

There’s a stillness, a sense of no longer running, that is relatively common across the diverse expressions that I’ve experienced. Sometimes it’s been painful, and full of sobbing, especially early on. Other times, it’s been delight and joy, dancing and singing with arms raised. It kind of depends on what the seeker is carrying that day.

“The body is the primary site of human spiritual formation… Redemption does not touch us until it touches our body.”

— Dan Allender

The Mind

Mental chatter is fodder for transformation: Where there is resistance, there is an opportunity for worship. When thoughts arise, notice and acknowledge them, but do not give in to them: surrender to observing and participating in worship. Insanity is logic run on a loop: worship breaks such patterns.

Unconscious shame, grief, or anger surfaced by worship rhythm are not obstacles—they are the material meant for surrender. Bringing the Shadow directly into worship turns internal conflict into the primary engine for transformation. Express what you need to, get out what is on the inside, and make as much room on the inside for God to do His work. 

Rather than suppressing “distracting” thoughts, label them and observe them: “I see me trying to control this moment.” Instead of fighting it, turn it over to Christ: “Thank you for trying, but you can step back; Jesus is holding this space.” Christ becomes the ultimate Source—the steady, compassionate center to which all our internal parts surrender their burdens.

“Mental prayer in my opinion is nothing else than an intimate sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with Him who we know loves us.”

— Teresa of Ávila

A Suggested Experiment

Visualization is a real aspect of the human imagination, and one that can be developed and even run crazy. Worship provides a time when our imagination can be cleansed and expanded. This is one such practice I’ve used that has both crushed and healed me, so I offer it sincerely and with a caution about approaching it humbly. It works, and biblical. 

Visualizations aren’t needed, but they can both happen and help. The concepts can be held without mental images, and often images will come up on their own. What matters is the soul’s posture. By posture, I mean that internal relationship we have with something: it’s the difference between how we think and what we think. How matters more than what here. Here, it’s how we approach the Divine, not necessarily with what.

Old sages have taught that anything can be used to encounter the Divine, so don’t overthink it or be afraid to try songs that are outside of our norm.

First, some theory: the Bible, especially the New Testament, teaches about becoming sons and daughters of God in Christ (Galatians 4:6–7; cf. Romans 8:14–17), that we can be restored to the image of God through Jesus, one with Him and one another (John 17:21). By this, we are heirs and “more than conquerors.” No matter your particular theological bent, if you can track with this logic, you can imagine it.

For this, Crowder’s “Lord of All,” “By Our Love” by for KING & COUNTRY, “I’d Do It Again” by Andrew Ripp, and anything by JoshM are some of my go-tos. A lot of songs work well, but personal preference matters in the consideration. Sing as much as you can unless you know you need to shut up and listen.

Try your tested-and-true ones, or be a bad-ass and try some songs you hate until you can get past all the parts you hate and still worship. That’s a grueling and long way about it, but Jesus can be found there by any seeker wanting to find Him.

Step 1: When you’re ready and begin worship, clear your mind and invite Jesus to have full access. As you sing, close your eyes and imagine a crown on your head and “Christ in you, the hope of glory,” embodying your bones, heart, hands, feet, and mind. Do this until your mind can rest in the image of it as you worship. Meditating works well if singing isn’t. Be in the music and let what comes up pass through with you. If done right, it might bring up what it needs to, and a living sacrifice can be made. Repeat as often as it takes, because these things aren’t a single mountain top experience. It’s daily medicine.

Once you can embody this while you praise, understanding its weight and implications for you on grace and faith alone, the next step is ready: imagine the entire world, every head with a crown and fully alive in the Spirit. Imagine your family, friends, and peers with the same.

Once through that, imagine willingly throwing your crown on Earth before Jesus in the presence of the world. And worship Him there.

A personal note: If you try this experiment—the crown, the surrender, the world, the stillness—I’m curious about the results. Please consider sharing.

“The fact is that certain ideas exist almost everywhere and at all times and can even spontaneously create themselves quite independently of migration and tradition. They are not made by the individual, they just happen to him—they even force themselves on his consciousness. This is not Platonic philosophy but empirical psychology.”

— C. G. Jung, Psychology and Religion

Worship is a Discipline

I’m pulling an old pastor pattern and throwing in one more thing:

Jesus approached a man in Jerusalem waiting decades for healing. I think there was a chance Jesus had seen this man many times before. Jesus walked to him and simply asked, “Do you want to get well?” and the man gave an excuse, not an answer (John 5).

Jesus has asked me many times, and like the man, I too gave him excuses about being alone and unable. And Jesus’ words to me were, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”

If I may dare, I think this is a universal lesson from this passage. No matter if the mountains should tear apart and tremble, or if enemies shout threats, no matter if the skies tear open, Jesus is my Lord of All…Do I want to be healed or not?

It’s from that posture His healing comes, no other.

So, do you want to be healed?

Like meditation, it takes practice. “Living sacrifices” have to get off the altar, back to Creation, and back to work the next day. That too is their sacrifice. The altar, these moments become practice for the rest of life, not the proof of it. We are instructed, whether we eat or drink, to do it for the glory of God, and to remember Him as we rise and fall. What matters in life is “to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8).

Don’t try to explain or define that which hits you, but wonder and accept and worship. Your ego and shadow can be the very things you worship with, and in so doing, they change.

Epiphanies come. More is revealed. 

And it’s there, and then when decisions and choices are to be made: and this is where worship really happens. If the living sacrifice doesn’t walk away changed, walking differently, it hasn’t worshiped. 

“It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it. There is an old saying, ‘The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.’ Meditation can reveal truths about yourself that may be hard to face. But it’s in facing these truths that transformation occurs.”

— Richard Rohr