*Updated: Feb 15, 2026
Name: Paule Patterson III
It’s “Paul” but the “e” is optional.
- Sobriety Date: 9/11/2021
- Favorite animal: Llamas
- Favorite color: Cyan
- Myers-Briggs: INFJ
- Spirit animal: Kierkegaard as a llama
- Dream car: 1964 Corvette (yes, without the split window)
Nobody would guess it from the title, but I’m a recovering alcoholic and pastor. Years ago, I spiraled into alcoholism and wrecked a family, church, and career. It was more than the loss of reputation or social context; it was the collapse of my identity as a friend, father, and husband—everything self-destructed under the weight of its inconsistencies and fallacies. The layers I had constructed, whatever shell of a person I presented, fractured because I had lost all control
My last relapse was on September of 11, of 2021.
Aside from reluctantly becoming a Christian mystic, I’m also a bit of a polymath and armchair philosopher. Other than recovery and biblical exegesis, I like to read psychology, philosophy, physics, neuroscience, leadership, personal growth, and some history books and biographies. Books may have to be the last addiction I break.
🦙 Llamas are cool. I enjoy nearly all animals (koalas are pointless), but I am a dog person. Humans are fascinating; ideas are just as much so. Plants and space are pretty cool.
Sobriety: More Than Just Quitting
Sobriety used to feel like an afterthought, not that I didn’t take it seriously—I did, very much. At first, though, it was a check mark, until I was sober enough for spirituality to also get a hold of me.
AA and counseling provided a much-needed introduction to tools, but it felt like I needed every tool and therapy under the sun to make any progress; from CBT and Meditation to books and AA. In the end, what I couldn’t get away from was living life authentically with people.
Recovery is now ever on my mind. Many things cause us to take a substance to the point of death, and not just the substance itself. We’re usually running from life, numbing fear, and fueling delusions.
When I checked into rehab for the second time, I had just finished a five-day binge, showing all the signs of suicidality. After an ER visit, five more days on suicide watch, standing before a judge, and then off to another rehab the next day, the only firm conclusions I had were that I wanted to live and that anything had to be better than what I was doing.
Sobriety started becoming something more profound and deeper. The last part of the 12th Step in Alcoholics Anonymous states that, after an alcoholic has a spiritual awakening, we are “to practice these principles in all our affairs.” The terrifying truth of that statement hit me pretty early in the rooms. It’s taken a lot of “awakenings” to get over enough of my old self to learn how to function. I realized my “problem” with alcohol was my problem with everything: it was a “spiritual malady.” AAers like to say that “quitting alcohol is easy; you just have to change everything.” After more than four years of sobriety, I’m still exhausted by how true it’s been.
Along the way, faith, which used to be a struggle before, became real. Spirituality, something I felt I had to force, was now an annoying part of me. The Holy Spirit, that thing I could never figure out, was just available one day. There was a hypothetical, reverse-engineered giving of my life to Jesus.
As understanding changed and I had something to grow, Scripture began to breathe.
American Evangelicalism, where I came from, was no longer aligned with Scripture or reality. The glaring errors, logical inconsistency, distance from a historical understanding of the Bible, and the love of Jesus were fundamentally palpable. A lot of shame and fear had to be let go of while wrangling a panicked mania of being labeled a heretic or shunned by Evangelical peers. Underneath, or on top of, it all was my shame and pride, the things I knew I was and wasn’t being. The fear of both failure and success, irrational things, reared their heads. My church butthurt and deconstruction aftermath that I was in denial of had to go.
The Birth of Drunk Pastor
I needed an outlet. Writing helped me be accountable and get ideas out of my head. The idea for Drunk Pastor was pitched during my first rehab by a man dear to me now. During my second rehab, the head psychologist recommended something similar. It’s been a slow build and approach, but one that has refused to stop despite excuses and foot-dragging.
The topics vary, and leftover questions are intentional. Sacred cows and “just need to have faith” are terms that can conceal idolatry, pride, and fear, while exposing false definitions. Faith is about our life and practice, not blind allegiance to doctrinal concepts. Drunk Pastor is meant for those who are already here or ready to be. It’s meant for those who aren’t afraid to wrestle hard questions or are finally ready to surrender—either way.
Welcome to Drunk Pastor.
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Features Include:
- Behind-The-Scenes: Official and Personal Updates
- Biblical Exegesis & Historical Context
- Recent Blogs & Guest Posts
- Curated Curiosities: A few articles, videos, or podcasts that I’ve found interesting.
- & a Closing Benediction: A little devotional thought to wrap it up.
