While I was a pastor in Moscow, ID, I started blogging. My site was Valid Ambiguity, a subconscious reference to myself. It did alright and had some momentum. Then church planting came up and then my self-destructive self fully collapsed into alcohol.

Writing has always been a thing for me. Maybe that was all it was – a thing. Theology, philosophy, and psychology were that way too. Things. Objects of study that helped me understand some things from a distance but kept me safe from it. Addiction and recovery changed that. It became personal. Everything about me had to change and along with that meant changing how I saw things. These things changed me, or, rather, helped free me.

In the last year, in rehab, writing has helped me process and get through things. It’s helped me see my crap better as well as figure out how to navigate and manage myself. Journaling, I’m now a proud advocate of. Blogging has helped me realize some things about myself. There’s also the taste of what words do for people I can’t shake.

Writing and the communication of ideas, engaging with people, and developing human systems have turned into necessities and passions. It’s part of who I am, and it’s been far too long coming. There’s incredible room for growth, and it’s taking me weeks of internal work to find my voice. There are no allusions that this thing isn’t going to take work on every level.

The thing is that it excites me. There are ways I can help people too because of my past and my failures. I’m excited to start offering services and assistance to people in areas like addiction/recovery, pastoral issues, organizational relationships, business, suicide prevention, and leadership. Again, I’m not anything special, but there are years of experience and study that have been transfigured through the last few years.

What’s changed is me, finally. I’m not done yet, but there’s been an embarrassing amount of issues, from minor to deep hidden, that just aren’t the same anymore. When I finally learn something, I tend to learn it. It’s all or nothing with me often. The writing was held back before by too many insecurities and dysfunctions. I am ready for something different. It’s arrived, and now I feel like I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.

It’s taken a few weeks to get here. I am looking for Patrons. Drunk Pastor is just getting introduced and more is coming. It’s just a matter of time and work. There are also some things to catch up early followers on. As things begin, develop, and evolve, updates will be coming. It’s going to be fun, for me at least.