It’s easy to miss but I’m a recovering alcoholic and a former pastor. At my first rehab, a man who would become a father figure to me jokingly said I should start a blog called, “Drunk Pastor.” I think he meant it as a joke, knowing him. Faith and recovery have flipped me around and turned me inside out. I’m still a “pastor” and trying to climb out of the wreckage of my own making has led me to conclusions about myself, faith, church, and more.

The name calls out my past and establishes, in some sense, that everything I do in the world is not dependent on my past or reputation. Past accomplishments and acclaim take but a few moments of carelessness and selfishness to ruin. It was my failures that taught me the most profound lessons and my darkness moments that help me be grateful for the light now.

Drunk Pastor reminds me of what I’m capable of when I’m out of control.
I also like to be a bit of a rebel.

I have a lot of favorite verses. Here are some:

• Genesis 2:25
  “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
• Joshua 1:5-9
  “No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you. Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
• Hebrews 12:1-3
  “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
• Matthew 10:16
  “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves”
  

As of October 20, 2024, I try to go as regularly as possible (1-2 times a week) and have a group picked as a home group. AA doesn’t get me either but that’s something every person in AA says.

I’m a mystic but that wasn’t something I tried to do – it just happened and it’s been weird. Specifically, I think I’m a non-dualist mystic.

I was an Evangelical since I first became a Christian in high school. Back then, I thought that was the “only” Christianity. Evangelical is no longer a title I can hold in good conscience. It would be dishonest. In general, I’ve always hated these labels. Working at different churches, I was expected to adopt their doctrine as if we could all change beliefs because of doctrinal statements.

However, what I am has been a process of discovery. My actual beliefs and how they fit in Christendom weren’t so cookie-cutter. Currently, “Egongelical” is the label I’ve given myself. It ignores the Catholic/Orthodox/Protestant schism while centering on the essence of the Gospel.

I’ve rejected (current?) Systematic Theology as the metric and canon by which we measure “faith” and spirituality.

I don’t hold to these in the typical Protestant definition and view. These words pertain to how we view Scripture and the Word of God. These doctrines often are used to justify a literal reading of a non-literal text. As such, it misses out on a lot.

Ineffability is something I believe in. I’m sure there’ll be more on this… at some point.

Stay tuned for more, however, I both affirm the divinity of Christ and his humanity. I’d add that modern Evangelicalism has hyper-fixated on Jesus’ divinity and made it mean a lot more than it does. This issue sprung up early within the Church and I think we’re getting close to both resolving it and getting over it.

Ummm, good question. I’m still working on it…

Ego is the central issue for all of us. We all develop an idea of our self that we then allow to get in the way of ourselves. It is what I believe Jesus was talking about and why he challenged us the way he did. It reframes theology away from the 1700’s of doctrinal entropy and puts the biblical narrative back into its context, which allows it to speak freely to us today. It rejects our different systematic theological approach to Scripture and adopts an Analytical Narrative approach using historical and modern research methodology. It places faith in Jesus alone – not Jesus + another doctrine. The personal side is about internal wholeness and peace. The mission of Egongelicalism is Jesus’ one new command – to love as he loved us.

I believe in it. I have it. I’m not Charismatic or Pentecostal.

This is a subject that is now an actual subjective experience for me…so still trying to figure it out.

Baptism was always about immersion but that debate is a non-issue for me. The act is what matters and what people are doing with it. To my Restoration peeps, no, you don’t have to be baptized to be saved.

Ceremonies and communal spiritual acts matter because they make a difference in our narrative, especially within a social context and community. Baptism, communion, and the “lesser” aspects of Christian sacraments are not about attaining, gaining, or even keeping salvation – that is just a sneakier temptation of the serpent.

Haha…haa. Been working on it. I struggled with just denying or rejecting outright. Beliefs were developing before church planting and alcoholism hit.

It hasn’t been until the last couple of years, that things have finally made sense. It’s like I can’t unsee it now. Definitely would be difficult for me to not “believe” it now. It’s a “thing” and it’s young. As I study, meditate, and engage with others, ideas, and principles are refined as I continue to work on myself.

I’m not Evangelical. I’m not Protestant. I’m not Orthodox or Catholic. I’m not Liberal. I’m not Conservative. I’m not sure if any of those labels have all the answers humans have been looking for.

I believe “philosophy” is a word Christians have forgotten and I am some kind of existentialist if that helps.