Over a decade ago, while serving as a youth pastor in Eastern Montana, I read Greg Boyd’s The Myth of A Christian Nation. Boyd pointed out a striking irony: despite the history of Christians burning others at the stake in the name of Truth—literally or metaphorically—few are labeled as heretics for being unloving. This quote, often shared in sermons, is a great conversation starter, though it might stir some controversy. It was from this perspective that I preached a sermon back then titled It’s Not Your Church to a Christian & Missionary Alliance congregation. While my sermons were generally well-received, I tended to push the line to make a point. This particular offended some, marking another instance where I pushed boundaries too far.

The Complexities of Love in Protestant Evangelicalism

In previous writings on Drunk Pastor, I’ve explored the absence of love within Protestant & Evangelical theology. It’s not that love is absent—it’s actually quite present. The teachings of Jesus and the New Testament ensure that love is a central theme, influencing every theology. Our Sunday schools, Sunday morning sermons, Bible studies, and family-dinner discussions often have the concept of love through it them. This at least is progress from where we used to be as humanity.

The rest of the “secular” world has undergone a similar journey. Kant, for instance, reframed the golden rule in a scientific context, though many in Christian circles view him negatively due to his role in the cultural wars. Kant broke down a rational case for the dignity of individual humans, and Christians of course have struggled with its implications and applications for over 200 years.

Love, however, is still muddled in disagreements and the actual present reality of human relationships. Humans within their accepted Christian communities assume they are loving while the liberal god-less society they judge also struggles with the same kind of thing. There is ample fodder for judgment on both sides, as highlighted by our political divide and dysfunction. It doesn’t matter where a line is drawn, anyone can redefine reality to make their side right. And we live in a world where lines can be drawn with silence. The line we’re talking about today is agape, a concept of love that has been around for a while. We’re talking about a particular Teacher what he said about it and how he modeled it. And how he called individuals to carry that cross, and not burn people on one. We’re talking about how 2000 years of theology have managed to avoid the hardest part and most essential part of Jesus’ message to any individual listening to it.

In the present world and past ages, many churches and people have done so much good. It was easy for me to join in the hurt and baggage of others. I forget the good I was blessed to be a part of in so many people’s lives. I’m grateful for this tension in American churches. It’s keeping good people authentically modeling a loving Jesus to this world. There are a lot worse things to be modeling. I’ve been a much worse model. Change is in the air and it has been from the beginning. This one will be a big one and all the parts are there. It’ll just take time for individual Christians to keep pushing their own Hebrews 12:1-3 and leaving their fathers and mothers.

The Challenge of Authentic Connection

Love has become increasingly complex in our world, turning into a subject for books and documentaries. Recent research and news articles highlight our cultural struggles with identity and meaningful relationships. We love tacos, pets, kids, and partners the same. Dating apps, for example, face criticism for feeling inauthentic—a point I find chuckling, though I have no room to judge. Our love for our children is profound, yet they often sense the limits of that love. Admittedly, this might come across as having a chip on my shoulder.

The American Christian Evangelical collective has a sound and a tone to it, and it isn’t agape. Nor is their “group consciousness” one of faith, hope, and love – just watch what they post on social media. The faith they proclaim is cognitive dissonance and bodily evacuation of this world – its fruit tastes more like avoidance than faith.

That church-hurt chip on my shoulder was real and debilitating. Forgiveness is far more crucial than I ever was ready to realize. It operates in the microseconds between decisions, actions, and reactions, working miracles in practical and timely ways—it feels almost magical. Regardless of one’s belief in “God,” it can feel like a divine force. Yet, it can also feel like death, especially in a society avoiding vulnerable, egoless, and uncomfortable conversations. We’ve isolated ourselves, and I’ve been guilty of this myself, hiding behind satire and fear. Our ability to quickly replace relationships—so fast that ghosting costs businesses millions—reflects this issue. My journey has involved working through personal issues and healing from the scars of past mistakes.

Understanding Theological Concepts Through Agape

Reflecting on my past experiences, I recognize where the “first arrow” came from and I let it impact my psyche. If I were to revisit my days planting a church in Missoula, assuming that my struggles with alcohol had been magically erased from life, I would likely preach similarly and with less imposter-syndrome-driven passion. My early youth ministry, while attending a Restoration bible college, I blended developmental psychology, philosophy, and science at a Baptist church where I refused to accept the Baptist label. Had I remained alcohol-free, I might have found myself in a similar place theologically, maybe even more “radical,” but with a clearer understanding of faith, hope, and love. The people I influenced would have a better pastor too.

A Fermi Paradox: Where’s The Love?

Within Christian theology, we have specific terms for studying various concepts. In the field of Christian scholarship and education, doctoral debates throw around words and papers on words such as:

• Eschatology: The study of end times
• Pneumatology: The study of the Holy Spirit
• Ecclesiology: The study of the church’s organization
• Soteriology: The study of salvation
• Christology: The study of who Jesus is
• Hamartiology: The study of sin
• Anthropology: The study of humanity’s relationship with God
• Bibliology: The study of the Bible
• Theology Proper: The study of God’s nature and attributes
• Angelology: The study of angels
• Demonology: The study of demons
• Sacramentology: The study of sacraments
• Theodicy: The study of evil, suffering, and God’s goodness

However, Agapology—the study of agape love—seems to be less emphasized. A Google search for “apalogy” reveals scant content compared to other “ologies.” This discrepancy suggests a lack of focus on love in theological discourse, despite its central importance. Look around. There are some. Look outside the Protestant Christian boundaries and you’ll find even more.

The Imperative of Sola Agape

Daily, Christians criticize others online and in person, believing their behavior is righteous. If we were consistent in our “logic & Scripture,” there would be one Sola that matters more than Martin Luther’s Five Solas: Sola Agape. “Sola” means “alone,” and “agape” refers to selfless, unconditional love. Thus, Sola Agape would emphasize that Christian love—especially the self-giving love exemplified by Christ—is the ultimate guiding principle. Without this, everything else is merely clanging symbols and religious routines. Without this, we miss Jesus,’ John’s, and Paul’s imperatives that love is the central call of all of Scripture. Without this, something else can become the most important thing.

When Jesus arrived 2000 years ago, he introduced agape as central to the New Testament message. He emphasized this love in his teachings:

• Matthew 22:37-39: Love God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself.
• John 13:34-35: Love one another as Jesus loved us, marking us as His disciples.
• John 15:12-13: The greatest love is to lay down one’s life for friends.

The Apostle Paul echoed this in Romans 13:8-10, teaching that love fulfills the law and surpasses all other virtues. In 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, he asserted that without agape, all other spiritual gifts and actions are meaningless. For Paul, love is the essence of the biblical narrative and the ultimate commandment (Galatians 5:14).

John the Apostle highlights the importance of love in 1 John 4:7-8, stating that those who do not love do not know God, because “God is love.” He defines agape as sacrificial and practical love, urging us not to love merely in words but in actions (1 John 3:16-18). Paul also underscores this in Romans 5:8, where God’s love is demonstrated through Christ’s sacrifice. This is the kind of love we are to live by. Paul will tell the Ephesians that the entire purpose of the church body is that we all group up fully into love (Ephesians 4).

It’s Difficult, Not UnScriptural

Agape love is difficult to accept personally while we yearn for it. To love this way demands we also forgive. To love this way means we don’t react the same way. To love this way means there is something more important than just being right. A systematic theology that lacks this love is like an addict unaware of their shame. To truly embrace agape, forgiveness and the “weightier matters” of theological and political angst must be central. Love must be more important than faith. Christianity, born in oppression and persecution, spread because it offered a loving God and a way to address personal shame and fear. It united and loved, not what it is now.

Throughout history, humanity has quickly fallen from grace, and early Christians were not perfect. The fall of Rome and the subsequent distortion of Christianity before and after suggest a shift around 200-430 AD when Christianity became what it initially opposed. It was meant to be a narrative for individual growth and communal support, not control. Agape love, though challenging, remains crucial. Especially in a world full of egos and identity crises. We must acknowledge our faults and strive to understand the profound love the early Christians embraced. This is not far from 1 John 1:1-9.

Quick Example: Calvinism & Love

Modern theological systems struggle with the Agape Law. Several points within Calvinism seem logically inconsistent and feel like an inauthentic approach to solid biblical interpretation. Calvinists often emphasize God’s sovereignty and penal substitutionary atonement as central doctrines. When we consider John 3:16 and ask what it means that ‘God so loved the world,’ Calvinists tend to invoke the inverted concept of Ockham’s Razor, attempting to reinterpret the passage in ways that stray from the authors’ obvious intent. The idea that God loves everyone has to be diminished, giving Calvinists the freedom to be unyielding and to wield the Cross as a tool of judgment.

When discussing the Sermon on the Mount with a Calvinist, I sometimes ask whether God ever commands something that contradicts His nature. The answer is always, ‘No,’ as it aligns with both logic and scripture. Then I ask why God commands us to love and forgive our enemies (Matthew 5:44) if He does not. It’s even a tougher question when we remember Jesus followed this up with “You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect (v. 48). This question creates an unsurpassed tension. And, to be fair, this issue isn’t limited to Calvinists—this is just one example. It’s a broader problem.

The concerning issue is that this inconsistency extends beyond Calvinists and Christians. We all desire this kind of love, and we’re coming to realize that the only way to receive it is by embodying it ourselves. Organizations and entertainment cry for it. Dating apps tempt with it. Families long for it. We created a world we could be more connected in, but feel lost in now. It would greatly benefit the world if we could live and love this way. It would mean being clear about what isn’t love. It would change things.