nonpastor

Biblical And Theological

What “is Finished?” – A Look Beyond the Traditional Interpretation

What if We've Been Preaching "It is Finished" Wrong? Here is a thought: Jesus' last statement is more about what is already in the Gospel of John than it is what our 2000 years of theologizing over 3 words.

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4 min

Personal & Recovery

A Reluctant Journal Convert: An Unexpected Gift

The act of translating thoughts into written words is a surprisingly mindful process. It forces me to choose language, consider structure, and reflect on my handwriting. Seeing my thoughts laid bare is a powerful tool for self-discovery. Sometimes, rereading entries reveals inaccuracies or forgotten details. Journaling helps me adjust my thinking patterns and develop healthier self-talk.

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5 min

Voices in My Head – Learning to Talk to Myself

"What do you feel when you're talking to yourself?", they answered without hesitation "Guilt." That guilt and shame about talking to ourselves actually keep us in the same patterns and thinking the same thoughts that produce the behavior that produces the life we wish would be different than it was. And I am so good at it.

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4 min

Biblical And Theological

Don’t let your left hand know – Beyond Show

Do your deeds secretly, say your prayers in secret, and fast in secret. Ensure that you take steps so your intent doesn't become something else. I pray for things or might do a good thing but the intent behind it was selfish, for my security and significance. When I mix up the purpose of prayer, giving, or fasting, I'm turning it into an echo chamber of self-worship. I can't see anything else but me in everything else. So, make sure I take steps so other people won't know.

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4 min

Church

Getting Out & In A Church I Don’t Believe In

I was not where I thought I should be for the journey I was on – things had to change again. One of the areas in the category of "Things That Have To Change" was my public posture and putting my voice back out there, taking risks, more relationships, and doing some of the things I love to do but don't have an outlet for, Drunk Pastor being a part of that. Going to churches and figuring out how to engage with people on spiritual and theological matters again is another part of it.

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John Macallan Swan, The Prodigal Son, 1888.

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7 min

Personal & Recovery

The Many Ends of My Selves: Sobriety, Excuses, and the Kid I Used to Know (Update 3.16.24)

Sobriety began on September 11, 2021. It was a Saturday. The morning started around 4 am with me staring at the ceiling of the Neurobehavioral Inpatient as a suicide risk.…

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5 min

Biblical And Theological

Shrewd as Serpents…learning to be innocent

Jesus was, in essence, teaching his apostles to be like "that ancient serpent, who is called the devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world" (Revelation 12:9). The catch is that we have to be that while being "innocent as doves."

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3 min

Personal & Recovery

Navigating the Abyss: Embracing Chaos, Discovering Order

“I say unto you: one must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. I say unto you: you still have chaos in…

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4 min

Personal & Recovery

Avoidance, Resistance, and Change

So, I am finding out just how good I am at avoidance. Or at least, I have been. I at least suck moderately less at it now. Starting almost two…

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13 min

Biblical And Theological

God of The Unknown – Embracing Uncertainity

God’s intervention in history and life is not necessarily through frequent, direct, or dramatic means but rather almost like He stitches and weaves a thread with a few pregnant moments…

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